A few months ago I left an abusive relationship and I stayed in a shelter for abuse victims for about two months. You can only stay there for a limited time as dictated by their policies. When I eventually left the shelter, the pandemic hit with full force and I could not go to another shelter unfortunately because all the local shelters were full. I was scared to go to a homeless shelter due to the dense population and the risk of covid and the news spoke of these being full too. A couple of weeks ago I started sleeping near ATMs and on park benches. There’s no help to get from my small family because we’re all pretty much broke. My mom is old and my dad passed a couple of years ago. Besides, I didn’t want to risk passing the virus on to my mom. I tried to get help from a much older friend that I both know and trust. I trusted this man because he’s a wise old man and he’s a widower who’s been married for a long time. I regarded him as friend until I ultimately discovered that he was very difficult to live with, the difficulties being: very abusive and manipulative. After a couple of days he asked to have sex with me for him to help me. I knew nothing having to be a prostitute just to get help. His reasoning was that because I was in such a tough spot, I would accept it out of desperation. I said no and went back to sleeping in parks and the likes.
Unfortunately I’m on welfare and I heard I won’t receive much help from the government during the pandemic. I still pay for a storage lot every month, but I’m trying to get rid of some stuff so I can eliminate that expense. I can barely afford a hotel room and that’s about it. I was planning to search for a job a few months ago, but then came the shutdown and added to the cascade of obstacles I’ve been facing. With that comes the problem of staying home. The government asked the people to stay home, but I obviously can’t because I don’t have a home. I try to avoid people as much as I can to protect myself and them. It’s very difficult and I’m still at risk of contracting the virus because I’m almost always out in the public. My social network ends here. All the people you encounter in a situation like this are, just people who are ready to abuse you, blame you or people who are ignoring your misery. It’s already hard to trust people in general when you don’t need help and especially hard when you’re stuck in this mess. I eventually gave up on the abuse hotline due to it still being full and the increased awareness around infection and disease. I fear police because they’ll tell me to leave the ATMs and the benches. I’m wondering if a tent could be better. That is if I can afford one.
If hope there are real people out there who believe in me, and that can just remotely imagine my misery. Anything would help. Basic goods like food, hygiene products, gloves and masks would be worth a fortune to me. My main focus would be to save up so I can have my own place, but one thing at a time I guess. I’d just love normal life for once. Here’s my PayPal link https://www.paypal.me/vaceu65