I honestly don’t even know where to start… but thank you for even taking the time to read this.
For the short version (the facts):
- I have suffered from depression most of my adult life
- I resigned from one job and got fired from another in the last 6 months
- I’m not eligible for unemployment insurance or disability allowance
- I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks last month and my heart is still breaking
- I have applied for so many jobs but most aren’t hiring until September (Start of new school semester – I’m a teacher)
- My ex-jobs barely covered my necessary bills… rent, utilities, credit card debt, food, my cats… so the little savings I had are gone
- I need professional help and should really be on depression medication right now, but I can’t afford it… the most affordable solution for therapy is Betterhelp.com.
- I’m not expecting any help and I really am doing my best to get back on my feet, but even a small donation will help me get back on my feet that much faster.. paypal.me/kera725
What I need help paying for this month:
- Doctor’s appointment and depression medication ($40-$50)
- Betterhelp subscription ($65 for one month’s subscription)
- Rent $550 (includes internet & water)
- Credit card bill (1,279,452 won or around $1,080)
These are the main things I really need help to pay with (I’ll do my best to cover the rest and be back in full-time employment by September)… if you can help even just a little bit it will be so greatly appreciated I can’t even express how much… paypal.me/kera725
What I am doing to try and help my situation:
- I am applying for new jobs every day
- I am also looking for any substitute jobs or summer camp jobs that I can do in August
- I am doing online surveys on public transportation like Swagbucks (they don’t pay cash but at least I can get gift cards for the things I really do need to buy)
- I’ve even applied for short term jobs on Upwork and to be a ‘chatting hostess’ to talk to men with
- I’m cleaning out my 2nd / guest bedroom to either find a roommate or put on Air BnB
- I have advertised on my local Facebook groups to be a house sitter/pet sitter/dog walker
- I’ve signed up to the PsychCentral forums which are free to join to try and help with my depression and have somewhere to check in every day
I really am doing everything that I can to survive and recover from these difficult past few months but I feel like I am drowning and everything just feels so damn impossible right now.
The long version (the vent):
I honestly don’t know what I am expecting from here… I feel like I am absolutely failing at life right now and I honestly don’t know how I am going to keep moving forward… I resigned from a job that was killing me at the start of the year… I was too depressed to work for a month or two but I really had no other choice but to get another job to keep paying the bills… I got pregnant and my fiancee of 3 years left me because I wouldn’t have an abortion at 6 weeks… I had a scan at 8 weeks but unfortunately miscarried in my 10th week which was last month… I was given a written warning for having one day off because I miscarried and then let go the following week… I tried to get a case for unfair dismissal but because I was still in the 3-month probationary period there was nothing I could do about it… and because I was effectively fired after such a short time working there I was informed that at this time I am not eligible to be paid from my unemployment insurance either… I am really trying to get another job that I can legally do on my visa here, and even some online jobs which are really a grey area but I am so desperate… it’s almost 3 am here and I can’t sleep… I cry every night… and every morning I struggle to even get out of bed… but I can’t give up… I’m doing my best not to give up but I need some help… my credit card bill has never been this high but I have no choice but to use it… I need professional help with my depression which is suffocating me… I know I have to fix this myself and I know everyone has problems and challenging times in their lives and I shouldn’t even ask for help like this… but I honestly… I just can’t keep living like this anymore but I am too much of a coward to take my own life… there has to be a turning point… there has to be a way out… and that is what I am doing my best to find every day.
If you read all this… well maybe I should be paying you! But seriously… thank you, even if you can’t give me a single dollar still I want to thank you… Someone said that a problem shared is a problem halved and even just writing all this down has released some of the weight off my shoulders. I’m not ready to give up on life yet, you can’t appreciate the good times without the bad, right? If you can help financially even just $1 would be so appreciated right now… paypal.me/kera725 … if you can’t help me financially then maybe you can say a prayer for me or drop me a line of encouragement to keep me going. Anything and everything is welcomed at this point.