Back around 2011, I first met my husband. He was charming and sweet and made me laugh. After about a year together, he began cheating on me and treating me like all of our problems were my fault. After he broke up with me, my mental health had deteriorated to the point that I was involuntarily institutionalized. After being released, he would not stop calling my job begging me to take him back and driving by my home and families’ homes. I had a friend in Texas who allowed me to move there to get away from my ex.
I moved back to my home state, but I kept the fear that I would run into my ex.
Nine years passed and one day while at work, I received a phone call from him. He asked me to meet with him so he could apologize for how he treated me before. Fearing that he would continue calling me at my job like before, I agreed to meet with him. He said that losing me made him want to change his life for the better. He had gone from someone who couldn’t hold a job for more than 3 months with no car to someone with an excellent job making 6 figures, had a very nice car, and broke down crying during our first meeting.
He told me that losing me, then losing his brother right after, made him rethink his life. Slowly, I began falling for him again. Every day he would tell me how much I meant to him. Every day he would apologize for how he treated me before. Every single day he made me feel like the most important person in the world. Eventually, we became engaged, and he asked me to quit my job. His reason being that it was a dangerous, low-paying, high stress job and that he made enough money to support us financially while I pursued doing something I love – photography.
His reasoning made sense, but I held off because I didn’t want to be dependent on him. He dropped the topic for a while until the stress at my job became so unbearable that I was coming home crying daily. Then he brought the subject up again. He said how much he hated seeing me like this and we agreed that I would leave my job and he would support me until after the wedding. The plan was that after the wedding I would begin looking for a lower stress job.
The wedding day came and went and finding a new job was beginning to look hopeless. I couldn’t even get call-backs. Within a month of being married, he began treating me like before. Controlling me, treating me like a possession, telling me I was lazy, that he knew I was cheating on him (I’ve never cheated in my life), and other things that were just horrible and nasty. His temper became worse and worse. He blamed me saying that I was using him for his money and began refusing to give me money for both my bills and our shared bills unless I specifically asked him for money. I had to justify every single penny I spent.
He began controlling what I could wear in public and who I could associate with. His anger became so severe that he would punch and beat our dogs. He almost killed our puppy on multiple occasions. One time the puppy had to be taken to the vet because he shattered its leg.
As I began to see him for what he really is, it was too late. Here we are 7 months into marriage and I have nobody to turn to to escape. I have a low paying job that barely lets me pay bills (excluding rent, which I can’t afford) and he’s lost his 6 figure job. He’s doing Uber and bringing in better money than me, but he blows through it buying alcohol and God only knows what else. He admitted to cheating on me just days after our wedding, he starts arguments just so he can have an excuse to not come home, he has cameras everywhere in our home that he uses to eavesdrop on conversations I have with the few people who still talk to me… I told him that I needed therapy and he became angry stating that a therapist would just tell me to leave him. After he calmed down, he said that he wanted to go to therapy with me because he doesn’t want to lose me again. I agreed that our relationship could use therapy and set an appointment which made him even angrier because he didn’t want to start therapy now.
He tells me constantly that if I leave him, he’ll just find me again and again and again. I’m becoming more and more afraid of him and wonder how long before he begins punching me the way he does our dogs. He already leaves me bruised and bleeding during sex. My mental health has deteriorated to the point that I’m scared of what I may do to myself after another few weeks of this.
I need to escape him and get our dogs away from him, but he has now left me over $10,000 in debt (his debt on my credit) and I have nothing and nowhere to go. I need help. I need to escape before things escalate even more. I’m afraid of him and know that the only way I can get away is if I move out of state.
Please, please help me. I know that I’m the fool who allowed this to happen, but I also know that I can’t escape from him without help. Help that my few remaining friends and family can’t fully provide. I just need $3,000 – 5,000 to relocate and get set up. I know this is asking a lot, but I’m afraid and don’t know what else to do.