I am currently in a serious financial bind of $3000. I am panicking. I do not have the comment karma to apparently ask for help here, but I am going to give it a shot and promise I will make the comment karma up afterwards.
I have paid for all of my boyfriend’s bills for 4 years. He was told not to work to be a caregiver to his parents, right after he bought our house. He was paid maybe $20 a day for his help, amounting to an income of roughly $16k a year. Therefore, most of the financial burdens fell on me. For a long time this was fine, but after 4 years, I was never able to successfully end my dependence on credit… that ballooned into fully maxed out credit cards, which lead to overdrafts, which lead to where I am currently today. In addition to this, my boyfriend who was depressed at how disillusioned he became by his parents empty promises, spent all of 2021 deep in a drug addiction where he virtually did not participate in the financial responsibilities at all. So at the tail end of 3 years and already at max, we spent year four with it being fully on me.
At this time I decided to would be a good sister and buy a house for my sister. I bought our childhood home from our parents so that she would have a place to live. She is learning disabled and getting a job that pays enough to get approved for a mortgage is difficult to impossible for her. I stepped up, and I just put my name on the all the papers, I didn’t have to pay any money. Welp… fast forward to a few months later and my boyfriend, under demand from his narcissist mother and father, KICKED ME OUT of HIS house that I was paying for… so I was forced to move into an apartment.
I basically wiped out my savings and crypto to get into the new apartment on a weeks notice… yes, we are all aware this was an illegal eviction, but sanity said to get out ASAP. So, here I am in my new place, where the rent is twice what I paid for the house, and I get Comcast set up… it doesn’t work, so I call them, spend an entire work shift on the phone and they eventually get internet working… for 12 hours. The next day it is down, I call, I spend just under 6 hours on the phone that day but it gets working… for 12 hours. I call again, I spend the better part of two days on the phone with them to get it fixed and it works, this time permanently. Thinking I have got things under control, I move ahead.
OH, but wait… Comcast has set up three different bills, all varying prices for the same package, and I am now getting charged for THREE DIFFERENT bills all for the same apartment. Here is where the cascading failure begins. Right at this time, my car also breaks down, I might add. My last living grandparent dies, my Aunt dies, then her son dies, and it is not even May at this point. I can barely keep up with the overdrafts, they just start pouring in and reach $630 at one point in a single day. It takes me the better part of March to get caught up, and then boom, overdrafts again in April, right at rent due. I have borrowed from several friends at this point already and am afraid to ask for more. Comcast reverses the charges, but wont pay the overdrafts… and it takes them 30 days minimum to get a refund check to me because they wont charge it back to the card. So, I am basically out $600ish in comcast that I know I will get back, but it won’t be in time. No, I have not been able to fix my car still.
And here I am right now in danger of at least 15 overdrafts that are going to hit tomorrow and there is no one left to ask. I can no longer take out loans because of the mortgage I got for my sister. No one in my family has any money, I had to buy the house before my parents lost it. I am out of ideas and I am so sad, I don’t know how I can work because I can’t stop crying. I swear on my family I will make the comment karma up, but I am in serious need of help. I did the best I could keeping a roof over my boyfriend and I’s head and in the end it was me losing my cool once that got the police called on me and me kicked out. I lost my dogs in this separation and that hurts more than anything. I am now sitting in my apartment, unsure of where food is coming from, unsure of when or if I will ever get my head above water, praying that I don’t get kicked out of my bank and really unsure of where to go or what to do. I have never begged or asked for money from anyone except with the promise to pay them back and I am probably not doing a good job. I wish you guys could see me now, I am a wreck, but I am trying very hard and just not making the mark.
My boyfriend has helped as much as they can, but thanks to their N parents, they will no longer provide him any assistance because he is again speaking to me. They financially cut him off just for speaking to me after 5 years together. 2022 has been the most devastating year for me and it has truly tested me. It took this situation for them to finally see how badly they were treating him and as things really went down their mom has started misgendering them and calling him a “she”. They are trans, but have been so for well over 15 years… very soon here they will have been a male longer than they were female… they possess exactly 0 fem qualities and this is very clearly some passive aggressive BS to put on top of the other pain they have caused… oh, btw his mother forced him to call the cops on me with a bogus charge that was immediately dropped, but in that time I dropped money on a lawyer that I cannot recoup any time soon. I had to save up for that while moving and basically forgo car repairs to make sure I didn’t get charged. It just won’t end. His parents are convinced I introduced hi to the drugs, when the truth is they brought that into the house on their own, then lied about it for a year. And they promised to be his source of income, then backed out when he chose to speak to the person he loved… they have also told folks about extremely personal info (medical diagnoses) and have gone out of their way to tell people I am abusive, when it is very clearly the other way around. His mom went as far as contacting former coworkers who could act as a job reference. Good lord, it won’t end.
Any help is appreciated and I understand this post is probably going to get removed but I had to try anyway. Thanks for reading and for your time. I am happy to provide more details via DM, but I think this is enough for the public.
Thank you again for your time.