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Last Updated: August 10, 2022

Desperate, life going out of control

Hi there.

My name is Alex and I’m a 27-year old artist (illustrator) from Costa Rica. I am currently in a very difficult situation, not only monetary-wise but in general. I have been struggling with anxiety my whole life, ever since I was a child, along with OCD (for which I take 50mg of sertraline everyday and it has greatly improved my wellbeing).

I can’t lie and say my life has been hell. No, my life has been good for the majority of the time. However, lately I can’t help but feel that I have wasted my chance to improve myself and become the person I always dreamed of being.

  • Here is a little background information on me:

I have always been extremely inclined towards the arts, being truly gifted in the fine arts, especially drawing and painting. So when I became of age, after a year and a half of studying a more “common” career (Spanish Philology with emphasys in teaching, which would have secured me a job as a professor in the future), I made the foolish mistake of “following my true dreams” and abandoning this career to become an artist… in a third world country. I was so young and naive that I now see how terribly at fault I was. This is one of my deepest regrets in life so far.

Don’t get me wrong, I do not feel remorse for studying what I did. Not at all. I am very proud of what I have accomplished artistically (my name has even been in the credits of a TV series created here! And there are quite a few children’s books out there with my illustrations in them! ), but I can’t help but wonder how much better off I would have been if I had studied something more monetarily stable.

The thing is, I come from a middle-low class family; both my parents only graduated high school. They didn’t have the means to pay for my education as an artist. Thankfully, an uncle and cousin of mine stepped in and gave me the gift of selflessly paying for all my study expenses. Thus, I graduated as an illustrator in 2020.

The past two years, which were accompanied by the well-known pandemic, have been a bit difficult, as I have been bouncing in and out of jobs, both for being a freelance artist and for employee shortages due to the impact of the virus (when I started working in non-art-related fields with monthly payment, after realizing living only off of the arts in this country was almost impossible), such as Customer Service Representative in call centers, as a dependant in stores, or as a Virtual Assistant (VA) for US clients among other businesses’ ‘

—

Right now, I have been unable to find a stable job for a little more than 6 months, after my last gig as a VA was finalized. I am precariously dealing with my expenses with the money I make out of my illustrations, which isn’t all that much. I receive a few hundred dollars every two months for some illustrated small books I have been working on. I know it isn’t fair payment, but it is better than nothing. And I also sell some other artwork here and there that adds to my account, but the income is minimum right now.

I have been sending non-stop applications to many kinds of jobs all this time, but I have not received a good response so far, probably due to my lack of experience in most fields besides the arts. But I’m trying, guys. I really am. My life might not have turned out the way I planned, but I’m not giving up just yet.

However, the savings I had from my last job have all been spent, and right now I own only a little more than a dollar in my back account, which is why I come to you with this help request.

My expenses currently are like this:

Montly:

$25 for Sertraline
$40 food
$30 for internet and television
$12 gym
$15 for house supplies.
$35 for psychology appointments.

Every 3 months,

$70 Nebido (Nebido, I have a primary testosterone deficiency that I must treat.)
$30 dog food (a 25kg bag for two dogs)

Not time-bounded expenses (not necessary right away):

$34 for dog vaccines (they are due in September)
$72 for an endocrinology appointment (to control that deficiency).
$100 for bloodwork for said appointee.

I also need $160 to repay the people that have lent me money these past months.

Any help would be greatly appreciated by me. Really. I won’t stop looking for a stable job, I promise!

https://paypal.me/alexshhu

 

Filed Under: Emergency Money Tagged With: South and Central America

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