Hello, my name is Bailey. I’m a 20-something working adult that ended up in a really fucked up situation. I met my ex online, after trial and failure to make any lasting friends in the state I had recently moved to earlier in my youth. I resorted to online social media to make friends, search for potential lovers, and, to be frank, keep my sanity for most of my childhood. This was before social media and online activities became popular (2006.) It was still considered weird. As the “new kid” starting middle school, other kids were vicious and emotionally scarred me. I was very lonely and desperately wanted friends and eventually a boyfriend, so I resorted to the internet. I grew up with most of the things I needed, and some of what I wanted, except under an abusive father. I can’t say I come from a background of “struggle.” I’m one of those people that can’t really compare the life I’ve had with people that have actually suffered extreme poverty and squalor. I can, however, admit that I have been the victim of abuse since I was 5 years old to an alcoholic. My entire young life, I suffered (and still do) severe depression and mild anxiety. I’ve spent the entirety of my adult life trying to escape the suffocating grip of my abusive father. I was never given a leg up in early adulthood. No free car, no money for college, no help moving out to be on my own, nothing but a “figure it out.” I met my now ex online, who lived 1,000 miles away from my house when I graduated high school. This was after years of socializing online. I signed up for student loans and had some scholarship money to attend a local community college, but I had to live at my parents home due to financial difficulties, which meant living under my alcoholic fathers thumb. I was going to college full time and working part time at a shitty fast food restaurant, making close to nothing per paycheck to get by. I drove my moms car back and fourth to and from school/work, fully covering the cost of my own expenses (gas, clothing, books, food.) I had been talking to my ex for roughly a year before my father decided to add pressure onto my already stressful situation. He threatened to take the keys to the house and car I was using unless I gave him half of my shitty paycheck, which equated to roughly ($300-$350 biweekly) which would have made paying for my necessities even more difficult. I fell in love with my ex, boyfriend at the time, and decided I wanted to be with him. I didn’t go back to college in the fall of my junior year, and instead decided to move 1,000 miles away from everything and everyone I knew. I took a one-way flight and two large suitcases with all of my belongings with me. I hugged my mom and took off, whom I didn’t see for over a year after that time. I thought that it would be a nice, fresh start. I thought I could make new friends and have a new family that could love me properly. I was very wrong. My ex’s family were criminals and drug addicts, and they treated me like complete garbage after a short time. I spent the next two years moving in and out of 3 different houses, being kicked out because I was a “bitch” for having a voice and standing up for myself and my ex against more abuse. At the last house we lived at, my ex took an opportunity to work out of town for good money, 6 hours away from where I lived with two of his family members. He continued to accept jobs out of state and far away from where I lived. The last job he took was closer to my parents house than the house I was living in at the time. The owner of the last house I had lived at was one of the only people not on drugs or a criminal like the rest of my ex’s family. He eventually asked me to leave and claimed it was due to needing “space for his other family.” I was forced to move back in with my abusive father, especially if I wanted to see my ex at the time. My ex drove 4+ hours to see me every weekend possible. With the money he was making, we had plans to get our own place and start our lives together. Sadly enough, I had discovered that my ex was cheating on me while out of town. He came home with condoms in his pants pockets, would hide his phone, and act very sketchy when confronted about it. I chose to believe his excuses, hoping he wouldn’t have actually cheated on me because I loved him so much. I did absolutely everything for him. I managed his money, I paid his bills, I washed his clothes, I fed him, I was fiercely loyal, and I was always intimate when necessary. He was very difficult to handle because he frequently got into car accidents and would get several traffic violations due to undeniable stupidity on his part, which was expensive and difficult to manage financially. Due to my own insecurities and belief that I would never find anyone better, I chose to turn my cheek and believe his lies and excuses for when I found evidence of his cheating. Looking back on everything now, I feel like I gravitated to a type of person I was familiar with – an abusive one. His last out of town job ended, and I begged him to move into my parents house with me. He at first declined, but eventually agreed to keep me in his grasp. Life at my parents house with him grew increasingly difficult. He would makes messes and never clean them up, expect me to do his laundry and continue to manage the money while he racked up debt. He was generally disrespectful to my parents home and to my parents. My father was and still is abusive, but he only chose to abuse me when he drank alcohol. We eventually got kicked out of my parents house too, and got our own apartment out of necessity. I was happy, and I thought that moving into my own apartment with his help financially would finally bring me the freedom from my father that I had desired my entire life. I worked full time with a convenient work schedule, I would work 12 hour shifts 3 days per week and one 8 hour shift, with overtime when it was available. I found out less than a year after we had moved into our own apartment that my ex was cheating on me for sure. A girl had reached out to me trying to confirm that he was single, which of course was a lie, and showed me all evidence of his messages, pictures, places to meet, etc to this girl on her phone. I confronted him, and he couldn’t deny it any longer. The concrete evidence was there. My world turned upside down from that moment on. He had a full mental breakdown when I finally left him, which put him in a local mental health hospital. I was once again forced to move back into my parents house or be homeless. My ex is a narcissistic sociopath that manipulated me, lied to me, cheated on me, and exposed me to disease. Several attempts were made on his part to trap me in an unwanted pregnancy as well (removing protection without my knowledge.) I had already been trying to separate my finances from his out of suspecting his cheating. I was unfortunately left with a big car loan that, unless I somehow end up with a high-paying job, will never be able to pay on my own. The monthly payment is $686.82, and the total owed balanced is right around $33,000. He enjoys fucking with my emotions and paying the monthly payment late so I have to reach out to him again and again to beg him to pay it. He had manipulated me into signing for his car because his credit was always incredibly poor. Since then, he has wrecked the car twice, making its value dwindle to nothing, and refuses to speak to me anymore to maintain control over my financial wellbeing. I only want financial freedom from this idiotic, abusive sociopath.
Any help is greatly appreciated. https://paypal.me/bailey21st?locale.x=en_US