BROKEN FOR THE LAST TIME.
This long as I feel it is important when asking for help ..the type I am asking for, that at the end I have researched costs. You are entitled to know that I am being proactive and not just expecting a hand out but in serious need of a hand up.
Some people take longer to learn life lessons than others. I am one of them.
I have spent my life giving everything I have had to others. Literally.
They say you’re too nice.. you love too much. Like these are bad qualities.
I have just run across people who are takers.
All my life has been this way but the real issues started back in 2013.
My now ex husband who made promises of 16 yrs..decided one day he didn’t love me anymore. I didn’t believe we had a bad marriage. But I also figured out later after the fact..there was someone else.
That is on him.. So I left with plans of making it on my own..and since then..I have not be able to do that. A series of unfortunate events and my loving, giving nature and my belief that people are good has finally taken its toll on me.
I was school bus driver for 17yrs, working on becoming the district trainer. I loved my job, not because I was making tons of money but because..kids! I loved my job and loved teaching people to be bus drivers!! I had medical insurance and a retirement fund, life insurance.. I was adulting at its finest!
At 43 arthritis hit and hard. I had 3 knee surgeries that left me with a debilitating disease. A chronic pain disease called RSD/ CRPS. (More info at www.rsdhope.org) I still need my other knee replaced as well a a hip. Not to mention the other issues that have appeared because of the disease..dental and weight..etc..
I lost my job..my insurances..had to use my retirement…
While this was all going on I found myself in a relationship with a man who seemed supportive and loving, what I have since found out is, that is not the case at all.
I am now 46 and been fighting for disability, finally have my hearing in 2 months time. This man is controlling, an alcoholic bully who has slowly abused me over time, emotionally, mentally,financially, and physically. I find myself 1 step away from truly being homeless. That referring to a roof as opposed to the open sky. I have been taken from a city in Colorado to the middle of nowhere in a campground in Mississippi.
I have no car..no money..no way to make any..I am isolated.. I have lost friends..family and anyone that I thought could help me because of my situation.
It took me a long time to finally realize what was happening to me!! I know now and need so much help, that I am not even sure how to ask. I need a truck (to haul what I have managed to hold onto)..I need a place to live and cash to survive on for 4 to 5 months. I also need to do this secretly. How?
So here I sit in a campground in a old travel trailer on free wifi.. isolated..I do not have a cell phone.. because that is one of his tactics. Wondering and wishing and hoping with what little hope I have left and I found this site.
If you are still reading..I have options.
The kindness of others.
Give up.. and that is not being dramatic. Giving up means, I lay in this bed I made..Because that is what I have been told.
I have one soul who has not left me throughout this whole ordeal.. my dog. Remy.. I will not leave him. He is 10 almost 11 yrs old heading towards the end of his days.. I won’t leave him. I need him as much as he needs me.
So I am begging for help..for a cash amount that will allow me to sneak out of this place and run far away from here. To start over with the knowledge I have now. To get the medical help I need for my physical ailments and my mental ones. To heal and learn to live again. To do it on my “own”.( With the help of complete strangers.) To be proud of myself. To feel worth it. To one day be able to tell my story so that it may help others. I am not alone in this fear..I am not the only one who has suffered such hurt. But right now this IS my reality..unless someone(s) will help.
Thank you..grateful … these words don’t seem strong enough to describe a feeling towards those that are the helpers.
I have figured this out.
4 and 6 thousand to get a decent used vehicle..registered and insured. (I would then hide it on the camp ground until I was safe to leave)
I have looked and researched a handful of cities in several states far from Mississippi that I at one point will be able to care for myself..on my own. Based on rent, job availability and resources..
Rents in these areas are average.. between:
650 and 850 a month.
With deposits and turning on utilities I have figured out I will need between:
1500 and 2000 plus utility deposits
of 300 to 600 would make my need just to get in a place between:
1800 to 2500 to start.
Basic needs of food and personal items.. thirty shopping at its finest!! Would be about 1000 to 1500 right out the gate.
Travel expenses to get away..gas…and lodging atleast 1 night.. look to be around 400 to 600 dollars..
I will also need a cell phone ..those are costly .. Something decent would cost between 150 and 350 dollars plus a monthly plan which those average about 50 dollars a month..pay as you go plans.
So a cell phone and plan would be 300 to 700 as I would need to get a couple of months of a monthly plan, just to be safe.
Right out the gate I am begging for.
15,000 to 18,000 thousand dollars.
Vehicle..travel expenses..initial rent with deposits..cell phone and plan..getting basic needs for rental..personal items..food..and atleast 2 to 3 months rent and utilities paid in full up front( if possible) while I get a job and prepare a new budget to care for myself.