Many people look at me and think, “Shes got it all, shes so lucky”. Well, I guess social media is doing its job because that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Hello, my name is Kara Quick and I am a 34 year old single woman who wants nothing more but to take back my life and regain some sort of peace in my mind and soul. I’ve always felt a bit different from everyone else but never understood why. I am genuine, giving, nurturing compassionate, empathetic, creative and do everything in life with passion and purpose. I’ve set goals and achieved them time after time. Until now.
In my early 20’s, I went to school and became a chef. That was the first time in my life I found I was good at something. I worked my ass off and achieved more in 10 years than most people do in their lives/careers, when that brought me to what I believed to be my dream job. WELL, that wasn’t the case. Let’s just say you could classify my situation in the #MeToo. AS a result, I was forced to leave the company to save my own mental well being. Everything I’d worked hard for was taken away unfairly. I had a very hard time accepting this situation.
Fast forward 8 months, my whole world really collapsed as my grandmother whom was my life, passed away unexpectedly, leaving my mother and I broken and lost. After that terrible loss, I completely lost my way. I had started painting 2 years prior, as a therapy when I lost my dog (my child), so I then began consuming every moment with creating art.
Going from knowing everything and having a plan, to having no plan and no desire for my previous life, left me soul searching like never before. However, as I was doing this, I became much more aware to certain occurrences around me, and to details that no one else saw or looked at, while always feeling like something was missing or what my purpose was on this earth. I soon was introduced to the process of Awakening/Ascension and connecting to my higher self and consciousness. The more I learned, the more I understood.
Fast forward to the family I thought I always had, that had my back like I did theirs. This image now looks like a smashed mirror. I’ve always asked for two things only from them, to love me and not to judge me. And as I have evolved into a better being, they turn away farther and farther from me. I had one friend and he turned into a psycho stalker. Now I have no one. I want so badly to continue my path of life and blossom into the super intelligent kind witty innovative passionate person I am.
Not giving up or in at this point, is the hardest thing ive ever had to do in my life. I have severe anxiety issues which have become so debilitating, that I barely leave my home. I cant interact with most people these days because of the social anxiety. I can barely move due to the constant tension in my body and am in pain everyday. I feel like the people and energy around me are killing me. I’m at my tipping point, this is now or never. To be honest, I’ve never asked for help because my self worth/esteem is so non existent (part of something I discovered, my mother has conditioned this into my head my entire life so trying to fix it at 34 is a mind F$%@). I realize this is the first thing that must be corrected.
In order to live, I need to go back to the psychiatrist and leave this area. But right now, I can’t even feed myself let alone. In a different environment, I thrive. Even now, so I know that little light hasn’t died. But it’s starting to flicker…..
If you’d like to see all I’ve accomplished, https://www.linkedin.com/in/karaquick/. I cant afford to keep my online portfolio but if its still up, http://www.karaquick.com. Thank you for taking the time and I hope there is someone who might understand.