Sir or Madam:
I want to thank the person(s) who will take time out of their day to review this letter. I appreciate your time, patience and understanding as you allow yourself to take a glimpse into my world of constant ciaos.
Sept 2018, my eldest daughter passed away in her sleep, she was 24. I inherited grandkiddos, a 6 (girl) and 2 (boy).
A 45yr old single mom dealing with the loss of two children in one lifetime (3rd child – a son – 4 month died of SIDS) is a hard pill to swallow. Parents are suppose to pass away before their children is how it should be.
The fact that I lost both while they slept and both imbaffles me mentally and physically. I chose to lock the gate and keep the hurt and pain away from the feeling called emotionally.
The best way for me to deal with keeping that lock on that gate is to focus on my two surviving children and my grandchildren. Panic attacks are constant when these beautiful souls I am responsible for sleeps.
3 children under the age of 10, full-time job, full-time student, therapy sessions for the kiddos, hugging, encouraging and loving on them has kept the noise in my head muted. This process works for me inspite of now living paycheck to paycheck.
Jan 2019 began with my balance and stance began to deteriorate. Both upper and lower extremities became numb and urinary and bowel incontinence developed. Diagnosed with Ossification of the Posterior Longitudinal Ligament (OPLL – a rare form of Arthritis that causes deterioration and constriction of the spinal cord. The simple ability to walk up the 38 steps to my front door became impossible. Without no short term disability and no income I was evicted from my rental I had for four years.
With the help of family and saints, my family lived in an Extended Stay. Major surgery – 19 hrs for the removal of C6 – T1 replacement with titanium screws. Recovery – 2 months in a hotel five months work from home made it possible for me to move into a house.
My Son, than 20, dropped out of college (Grambling) couldn’t deal with the death of his sister and my disability became addicted to Meth. Currently (2022) incarcerated due to the addictio left me solo with tending to the 3 kiddos In. In my mind, it was best for me to focus on the needs of the remaining four lives that i was responsible for. No time to mourn.
COVID hit in 2020. Developed more health issues to the point of August 11, 2021 went on FMLA for another spine surgery August 31. I sent my 12 yr old daughter and my now 5 and 9 yr old grandchildren to Chicago to be with family because I could not financially take care of them during this time.
I could not get my short term disability pay simply because I could not afford to pay 55.00 for the paperwork. Lights cut off, phone disconnected, car repossessed, food limited. Received a denial letter from Texas Rental Relief when I returned home from Second spinal surgery. Second eviction. Slept in friends apartment, Mini Vans for some weeks until I gathered funds to move into another ES.
JAN 2022, moved into a second chance community, no furniture and public transportation. Daughter came back to live, allowed kiddos to stay in Chicago till Summer. January 25, wrongful termination. You cannot fired an employee whose under FMLA.
JUST don’t understand the why’s. I am lost, angry, confused as to why these boulders keep falling in my path. I haven’t mentioned the termination to my family in Chicago due to pride. I need help and a job ( Reconciliation A/R – 12 credit hrs away from a Duo B.S. Accounting and Healthcare Management).
If, at all, any advice, prayer, financial assistance Network, or pointing me in the right directions will be beneficial to me. I appreciate you all allowing me to share this skeleton that is now out of the closet.
Rent = 1691.00: Light = 102.00: Cable = 60.00; Food = varies; furniture= bedrooms (3) , kitchen, bathroom towels (2), living room dining room. I just need the next two months of bills paid.
PayPal account is @TisaMacklin