Have you ever seen the man who stands on the corner begging for change or the women who enters the store without a cent to her name asking for help just to buy a simple bite to eat. I think we all have. And wondered or assumed that there just trying to get money for alcohol or drugs. Most of the time that’s pretty accurate. And sometimes we give them the change we have or even a couple of dollars well knowing that thee going to just spend it on alcohol or drugs. Is it because some of us know what it’s like to suffer like this or maybe we do it in hopes that this time they will use the money we’ve given them to do something better with it…
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat with a sign stating “please help hungry and homeless ” and watched countless people pass by me not even glancing at me or my sign. And as everyone of those people passed by I felt a piece of my soul my spirit shatter just wishing at the very moment they could feel the suffering and the heartbreak that is happening. Thinking maybe if they just knew how many nights I’ve went to sleep hungry or cold or just wishing I could find a place to take a shower without being stopped and harassed. Or how many times I’ve tried so hard to get out of the hole that my life was in the right way just to be tripped and thrown back in it. Do you know what it’s like forget what day it is because your to busy trying to just survive the next few hours. Do you know what it’s like to work so hard on making a shelter for you and your wife thinking ” finally a place to rest our heads and be able to pick ourselves back up again”. Only to wake up the next morning to police ripping your things up cutting your tent walls with knives and being told you can’t be here or that your going to jail for trespassing on a piece of land or property that hasn’t been used or even close to anywhere that would really both anyone that your even there.. well let me tell you it’s beyond devastating. And then for it to happen again and again no matter where you go. Or how deep into the woods you tried to hide. And hide meaning just trying to stay out of the rest of the worlds way so you don’t bother anyone or there business. Do you know what it’s like to just be able to try and survive the day. And everyday you survive just means you’ve made it through the day without being killed or robbed or have everything you have left in life taken. This doesn’t even include be ming able to find food or away to clean your self or your cloths. Some days are spent just trying to find something to eat because you haven’t eaten in days then it’s spending a whole day trying to find cloths because the ones you have are soaked and moldy from trying to stash them some where safe until you can find a shower or find that the cloths you had have been stolen. It’s sad to say but I haven’t even begin to explain what this struggle can really become on a day to day.. when you know who you are as a person and what your capable of and yet you still can’t seem to find a way out of this situation or find someone in this world to see you struggling and offer you a lil help..when someone does stop and hand you a 20 dollar bill and all you can do is cry and thank them for it and theu have know clue why your crying because they gave you 20 dollars. Theys have know clue that you’ve gone days without eating and what you have eaten came out of a dumpster they have know clue that you’ve been saving every penny you can find just to be given a 20 dollar bill so that you’d can finally get you stand your wife a hotel room for less then 24hr just so you can give her a place to shower and maybe wash some close and feel just a little bit more like a human being.. it’s life changing when you hand someone a 20 dollar bill who has been trying to just make enough money begging so they can buy a fountain drink and a bag of chips to get rid of the pain in there stomach from not eating. Now is the part where you thinks “well why don’t they get a job.” And this is when I say “don’t you think Ive tried.” I had a job before my life got like this. I didn’t just decide one day to not have a job and live like this. I didn’t wake up one morning and decide to just lay myself of because the economy went to shit and I can’t afford to empoy myself anymore without any warning. I lived paycheck to paycheck as it was. My bills where already piling up. I didn’t even have a car payment for credit card bills. But when I lost my job in a matter of weeks it was so hard to figure out what to do because I don’t control the world and wether or not it’s going to give me what I need right when I needed it. So I lost everything. One thing after another till I found me and my wife dragging pallets through the woods to make a shelter. Not know what to do other then just make it through till morning then it became surviving every minute of everyday to just make it to the next one. I don’t remember what it’s like to sleep next to my wife on a Saturday and decide to not get out of bed and watch movies all day. I fact I don’t remember what it’s like to sleep next to her at all because it’s dangerous for us both to sleep at the same time. I guess I’m just thankful she is brave enough to let me sleep when Ive forces myself to stay up for days on end to protect why we do have left even if it is just some moldy wet cloths and some tied together bags of I don’t even know whats in them anymore. I will say that all this time she has been like superwomen whens it comes to keeping my dad’s ern full of his ashes safe and sound. I know he’d be proud of me for at least find someone who hasn’t given up and has stuck by me even through all this struggling. So if there is anyone out there in all the world who has the means or ability to help please I beg you to help anyone you see on the corner begging for change or sleeping under the stars cuz they need it too. And if there’s anyone who has taken the time to read our story of you can help I hope you do. I hope my wife can sleep next to me again someday in a place that safe and ours so that nobody can take it away or cut the walls open or steal our belongs just to leave them scattered all over and ruined. I hope for a blessing beyond all blessings. Because in truth I have no luck I’ve never been lucky. But I have been blessed and blessing go along ways and being blessed always finds it’s way of blessing back. Thank you to who ever finds this. Even if you can not help. Thank you for taking the time to read. I hope it blesses you in some way even if to remind you to help the next person I see begging on the corner.. bless and be blessed. Thank you again:
Please send and blessing you can to : James And Rachael Svinareff
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