I grew up thinking the reason I had no siblings was because my birth father had hurt my mom so she decided to tie her tubes and not have any more kids. That was far from the truth. I grew up not knowing about my birth father until I was around 7. I was living with my grandmother back in Trinidad. I mom was working as a nurse, I only saw her on weekends. One day a man shows up to my grandmothers house and said he was my dad. My grandmother confirmed it. I started to hang out with him, I never ask where he was before, its not something I was even thinking about. It was fun being with him, he was very kind. We a few years seeing each other, he would take me to work with him, he drove a delivery truck, it was so much fun we always had a great time. He never spoke ill of my mom. My mom however told me that he had left us. I never spoke to him about what she said. My mom got the opportunity to go the U.S to continue her nursing career. She did not take me, she went to my stepdad. Now my stepdad was complicated. He was a construction specialist. He was also a heavy drinker, Every time I was at their house he was drinking, I remember him getting into a fight with my uncle in front of my mom, grandmother and me, it was terrifying. I began to live with my grandmother when they left of the states. She tried her best but was very ill. A few years went by and they decided to sent for me to come live the U.S. with them. I never thought what would to my grandmother because she was happy for me. Its was hard adjusting to living in New York, it was very different to Trinidad. School was especially tough I was terrified of the students. My stepdad did not make it any better, he would beat me if I did not get the school work correct. I tried to explain because I had to lived hear I would need time to adjust. He was was not hearing it, My mom would do nothing, probably out he fear herself, who knows. Hears where it gets crazy, So when my mom was working during the day and I was home from school I would have to watch my stepdad as he drank to my sure he did not hurt himself or others, while my mom sleep, she worked nights. As a child growing up you don’t get the opportunity to say no. There was one time we was living on the first floor of an apartment building and he could not open the door to leave the apartment so he decided to push the ac unit out the window and jump out, could not imagine my horror seeing the aftermath of that. What if the unit would of hit someone?. By some miracle he did not get hurt, maybe the alcohol numbed him. The crazy part is that he made through college, three of them with top honors. However ever he could not find a job, he getting told he was over qualified for the positions, which I though was put nonsense. You see even though he beat he sometimes, I was never though to hate, my grandmother would take to church and teach me the was of the righteous. Can you imagine the sadness when I got the news in the first year in H.S. that she had past. My world ended. I only continued on because of my H.S. friends and teachers that support me. Please forgive if I seem to be rambling this is very difficult to talk about. Somehow I made through H.S.. because I was still getting beaten through it, I took it all, what could I do?. College did to last long because my stepdad kept drinking and my mom would call me to come home and take care of him. I could not study I was so stressed. I eventually had to drop out to look after him full time. During this time I got news that my birth father past way from drowning. Another important person in my life gone. Made me question God. How could be so cruel knowing what I am going through do this to me. At that time I met my soulmate who show me it light in the darkness. I never knew I could be allowed to be so happy, she was the kindest soul and her parents and siblings were just as kind. As time went to my mom and stepdad moved to a house with me in toe. Things only got worst from there as I needed to was out I got a job, but I still had to look after my stepdad who was working him but would drink on the weekends and just disappear from the house, So again while mom slept I would have to go look for him. My girlfriend at the time was having issues with her dad dating me because I was not of the same race as her which I did know until he kicked her out of their house, that was rough because it meant that she would have to come live with us. I now had someone to love me and had to protect her and my unborn son. At work my mom would call me to come home and go look for my dad because he was missing from the house, I would have to ask my boss to leave several times for that. It got to the point where I could not, she would get mad but what was I to do. I has a son on the way. After my son was born things did not change it got worst, My stepdad would say when he drunk, ” I have not kids” over and over, my mom never explained why he kept doing this. As my son grew I would left my stepdad hang out with him supervised in the house not drunk. One time I turn away for a sec my girlfriend called me for a sec, when I came back to my son and stepdad I witnessed him trying to strike my son. I immediately took my son away. I was not going to let him do to my son what he did to me. I had to get them out of their. I was able to find an apartment for us and my sister in law would move in with us because my mother ask us to help take care of her, she was little slow but had a good heart. We got married eventually. Even through all this I could not leave my mother to fend for her with my stepdad so I would go over on weekends to keep an eye on the house if he drank and left. After a few years my mother in law was diagnoses with stage 4 cancer and would eventually succumb to it. This hit us so hard, My wife now felt this the hardest, she was very close to her mom, she helped us though alot even picking up out son from school when we were at work. still feel it to this day even though its been years. Its not fair losing someone so close I loved to very much she more of a mom than my real mom. During Covid something happened to turned my world upside down. My stepdad would keep saying the same thing ” i got no kids’ and this was never explained to me, until he got covid. Something unlock in his mind and he started talking about my mom with some other guy from their past. I could see the look on my mom face that there was some truth to what he was saying. This went on for weeks he kept bringing in up he threatened to kick her out the house, then he said he would leave, it went on and on. One day she decided to finally admit what happened. turned out when they went for a doctor visit he was talking to both of them but, the doctor thought he my stepdad was the guy, apparently my mom had a affair with other guy and had a abortion without my stepdad’s knowledge. So all the years of drinking was because of what happened. This hurt me so bad growing up and only child it may seem trivial for some but for others it very important. My stepdad I never bonded and at this point I forgave him for everything he does not know how to bond with me nor my son. We talk from time to time but its the point where he can’t have a normal conversation because all he did was drink and the conversations back then were unintelligible. I never learned all the things I know now about money management 401k,roth ira I learned on my on. Now even my mom though my about these things. Right now I work taking care of my father in law again I forgave him a long time ago. I just some help to have some money set aside for vehicle repairs, food, cloths etc.
I thank you for reading my story, my fortune smile on you.