2020 was my rock bottom
I don’t know where to begin or what all to say. I’m not use to laying all my burdens down on others it is in fact, taking a huge deal of courage for me to have to ask others for help (I’m usually the person to give help not need it) let alone strangers from all around the world know my toughest battles from the fear of being judged because of the fact that I literally feel like I have nothing going for myself. These are not the cards I’m usually dealt but I have nothing left but to be open minded and know that times are different now. We are now living in a time where being able to share some of your most embarrassing moments on social media is a thing now, and instead of people ripping you into pieces and making you feel less of a person, the good out ways the bad. There are actual miracle workers who come into our lives and remind us all that asking for help should never make us feel less than anyone because at the end of the day we are all human. No need to feel ashamed to go through some real life struggles. So yes I am tired of acting like I have it all together and instead I’m finally ready to lift some weight off my shoulders and reach out. Before I jump into my story I just want to say thank you to the ones that have read it this far.
I am a behavioral therapist for kids that have autism for a little over 5 years now and that is the best part of my day. I love working with these kids and seeing the obstacles they over come. It really makes me feel like my job has so much purpose and is something that’s even bigger than myself. It makes me feel so good that I even invested myself in babysitting to help families all over because I see how much a parent can sometimes be under a great deal of stress and I just like to help out, even if it’s just for an hour or two to help these parents unravel and get to pour some of their love that they have so much to give back into themselves as well as their loved ones. Well unfortunately I got into a car accident in September and the car I was in got totaled and this is just the beginning of my unfortunate events. So with no car I’m not bringing that extra income of babysitting money and now all my money is being poured into Uber rides to and from work. Work ends up closing due to COVID and now I missing out on making a paycheck. Because I’m not able to make ends meet in my one bedroom apartment anymore I have to break my lease and reach out to stay with a friend. I am grateful they opened their door to me durning this time. I have a cat who I love dearly and it has just been me and him for a year now but with the new place he is so curious and loves to explore and one day decided to jump off the balcony and go M.I.A for 24 hours. This is the same day I have a doctors appointment and get some news of possibly having a brain tumor. It was just an awful day and I’m tossing and turning at night thinking of my cat who is in a big city by himself and just really freaking out because this is his first time away from home let alone a new home. I am someone who has a great deal of anxiety and has had a lot more doctor visits this year than i care to admit. To shorten up the story of my cat, he ends up returning and shows up with a swollen foot. He is not walking on his back paw or letting me touch it so I decide to take him to the doctor and with my luck it happens to be a Sunday and all that is open is an emergency clinic and the bill was crazy. I didn’t even get to get an X-ray done because just pain meds and antibiotics for him was 200 dollars the X-ray was an additional 400. I felt terrible but hoping that this medicine is all I need to get his paw to go down and him get back to being healthy. But this too is just the beginning of Ty my cats journey. After a week of him laying around and still not walking on his paw I decide to take him to a more affordable vet where I get the news that he broke a toe and needs to get it removed. In that moment I felt so ashamed that I had to let him live in this misery for a whole week because I just couldn’t afford to get him seen. But I end up having enough to get the X-rays done and the toe removed and wishing it all goes up from here. A week later he still isn’t bouncing back to his old self just laying around and only getting up to eat and then goes back to little to no movement so I just felt something still wasn’t right. I try to unwrap his leg and he isn’t having it so I have to take him all the way back to the doctor that did his surgery to sedate him because even he can’t unwrap the wrap that he did so tightly. Going to find out not all is healed and he has to glue his paw shut because it was so swollen prior to when he did the surgery one of the stitches ended up coming undone to soon and on top of that Ty got a new wound from the wrap being on so tight and not getting enough air. Later this day I find underneath his tail he has what I thought was a bed sore from laying around so much and this thing ends up bursting and so much blood is coming out from what I thought at the time was his foot not the bed sore. He is freaking out and running all over the house I never got to get a good look at it, I just assumed it was from his foot and I rushed him to the doctor. Unfortunately this ends up happening on a Sunday night and all that is open is that expensive ass (excuse my language) emergency clinic. I’m so pissed at this point and my pockets are hurting. I end up having to pay 500$ for them to shave his leg to tell me it looks like something been eating away at his leg and it could be a bacteria so I get some testing done to figure out what is going on with the rest of his leg and they give me some more pain meds and a new antibiotic. To end the story of my cat he bounces back with the new antibiotics, everything heals nicely and the best part about it, is he starts walking on that paw again. Going to find out his body was having a reaction to the first antibiotics but I didn’t know with all his fur on top. I just thank the heavens that he is better and I am no longer stressing about him. I ended up spending roughly 1500 on him. I know I know, most people probably wouldn’t have went that far but to me, he is more than a cat and been with me my toughest year yet. So to start taking care of myself again I am having some pain from my car accident and have to get two MRI done for my neck and lower back. That’s not the only thing medically I am getting done. I have been going to the doctors for awhile now trying to figure out what’s going on with my body. Back and forth with blood test after blood test to finally find out I have high prolactin levels and end up having to get another MRI this time for my brain to find out I have a pituitary tumor. And another thing added on top of that I also need two root canals but that is the least of my worries because I am in no pain right now. I am just trying to tackle one medical thing after another and my tumor comes first. I have one to many side effects the biggest one my emotions and anxiety are through the roof and I’m ready to get that fixed. I have dealt with piles and piles of stress and I’m happy that even though it’s been a process I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel but it has cost me a fortune. I still have to figure out the next few steps for my tumor but I just wanted to give you a background story of all that is going on before I ask for your money. But truth is I need help. I need help to get a new car. All these medical bills have ran my bank accounts dry and honestly anything helps. I’m not even looking to get anything fancy just trying to get enough money to put down a decent down payment. I have dealt with so much this year and I’m use to dealing with things on my own, my family is all the way in Utah and I’m all by my lonesome in Houston. I have been doing it on my own for 7 years now and it was a good run for me. I even opened up my door to others to stay with me multiple times throughout the 7 years to get them back on their feet and it’s a lot for me to take in now that I’m actually the one that needs the help to get back on my own two feet. I got served a lot more than I can handle this year and I’m ready to be around my family again. I’m just trying to get a car again so I can save up and take care of my medical bills and get back to babysitting because it’s what I miss most. That extra income again to raise enough money to give back to my friend that opened up their door to me and to leave Houston and get back to Utah with my family, it’s where I belong right now. I need them for my mental and physical state of being. That kind of love and support goes a long way for us humans. So anything helps and thank you so much for listening to my story.
I wish everybody a great new year
I know for me the only way is up from here.