Hello anyone! My name is John P, I’m a 20 year-old student, and I. NEED. HELP.
My last post didn’t have sufficient contact info, so here’s attempt #2.
This post is a request of any donations, to help against the mounting circumstances I’ve faced in recent months. I’m a Twenty year-old college student, having recently finished my spring semester studying psychology. I’m also an avid guitarist and amateur digital artist. I had spent the last year and 1/2 (until April) as a psychiatric assistant, working with addiction and acute mental health patients. I was inspired heavily to do this job due to a mental health history in the family (bipolar-schizoaffective father, mother with depression/anxiety, brother with mild autism/depression). However, I believe my experiences in this field as well as isolation during COVID have been detrimental to my own mental health. Traumatic events such as being assaulted, seeing blood/gore, and patients suffer has worsened my mental health state.
I’ve always had depression and anxiety and sought to use these experiences to empathize better with patients, however, by this April I was experiencing daily anxiety attacks, suicidal thoughts and depressive mood swings, and felt I wasn’t fit to give psychiatric advice or education to patients anymore. I recently had moved out as well, and adjustment has been difficult (perhaps the amount of space to myself has robbed me of some counsel I’m used to).
“Take it easier” has been my mindset the last few months, as I’m already taking meds and in Therapy. However, the depression continued to get worse late April-present. I was confused and overwhelmed late into my Spring online classes, and my GPA has dropped from a 3.7 freshman year to a 1.5. Due to this, I’ve lost my scholarship and have had to pay out-of-pocket for school therapy expenses, psych research / lab equipment (misc items for a behavior experiment), as well as my summer classes (taken in an attempt to secure credits and renew the scholarship in the fall).
The depression caused chronic sleep issues the last few months that I’ve never experienced before, causing me to consistently oversleep and not wake up until the afternoon, even when setting several alarms. I’ve lost two cooking jobs since May due to this issue. I’ve attempted self-employment via my dad’s hustle – flipping and appraising vintage/antique items. However, his own mental illness’ symptoms (paranoia/mania) makes it difficult to communicate, be profitable/organized, and get my payments on time. He himself believes he experienced a psychiatric relapse due to isolation during COVID. Thankfully, I’ve secured a new kitchen job, but this job is part time and will not begin satisfying my bills until August.
On July 13th was the catalyst where I ended up in the hospital. The previous month, I took out 1600$ from a cash advance, in fear (partly produced from my own insecurity/depression) that my father wouldn’t send my paycheck in time. This debt has since been tormenting my bank and has only added to the stress.
With 200$ left in my account, I was of an extremely desperate state of mind. I put the money into a crypto casino and lost it. Stupid? Yes. In retrospect I can see that. Following was a spiraling anxiety attack, and I checked into the ER at a local hospital. Thankfully, Ive received new antipsychotics + an antidepressant increase, and sleep medication after a 3 day stay. These have helped tremendously just this week. And I think August will be a month of improvement for me.
HOWEVER. As it stands in July I am in serious trouble.
I have almost 2000$ in cash advance debt, and its preventing me from making any savings.
I have a 400$ rent payment due the 28th, and only 240$ available from the two jobs.
I have 10,000$ in student loan debt over 3 years.
My medical bill is in the mail…
I’m begging for a second chance, I want to get my life back and begin creating art, and the passion that I neglected.
ANY HELP would be appreciated. Thank you all so much for reading and for your generosity.
cashapp – $JackMPea