Okay, so I’m going to start by telling you about myself and then we can get into my situation,
I’m a 28 year old female, I work in home care for the last 5 years and I have the sweetest little puppers ever, and I absolutely love to paint and create.
I work full time, which for most people is enough, but, almost 8 months ago my car broke down, and I’ve unfortunately come to the conclusion that she might not be as easily fixed as I once thought. Really I just don’t make enough to fix her…
Which breaks my heart because I really loved that little car…
I guess that kind of sounds crazy because I was talking about work, so here it is, I work way to far from home to not have a car, over half of my paycheck goes into other peoples gas tank, and the other half goes to rent and to pay for dog food. I can’t remember the last time I was able to actually spend money on food or anything else for that matter.
My downward spiral begins when my dad passed away and I just kind of gave up. I intentionally crashed a car with intentions of taking my own life and thankfully I failed that mission.
That’s when I got my first fur kid. He saved my life for sure…
From there things were okay for the most part, I met a guy who I thought was amazing. And he was until he wasn’t.
About 2 and a half years ago I left that really abusive relationship and me and my 2 dogs lived out of my 2 door hatchback car for a year because my mother kicked us out, we’ve been struggling since. From living in the worst trailer I’ve ever lived in, with no heat and holes in the floor, to a spare bedroom in a house full of thieves and drug users. I’m not trying to be around anything of that matter. I can’t, I’m watching people die, people harm themselves and others, and I just can’t do it, especially not sober. I’ve thought about a new job but the woman I take care of literally has nobody else and can’t seem to find good staff and I can’t leave her helpless,
I’m unable to save money to fix my car or find an apartment because all of my money and then some goes to gas to get to and from work, and that’s on the days I can actually find a ride to work, some days I have people that will tell me they’re coming and on their way, and don’t show up for another 4 hours.
Forcing me to be 5-6 hours late for work. Leaving this poor paralyzed woman to fend for herself with absolutely no help.
I’m thankful she understands but even she’s getting annoyed with it lately, rightfully because her well being is being put in danger. It’s a miracle I even still have a job,
I guess what I’m asking for is help to fix my car or get a new one and help to afford an apartment or a rent to own trailer even. Anything really helps.
My dogs and I are miserable in the house we live in, they’re locked in my room and regardless of my roomate being home he refuses to let them out even though he told me he was fine with them when we moved in.
I’ve got nobody. All I had was my dad, and without him I’ve been losing my mind,
My mother can’t fathom the idea of helping me, every time I ask I just am made out to be a terrible human. Regardless of the success I have had she still wants nothing to do with me. I’ve got no other family, and very few friends considering the town I live in is surrounded with drug addicted thieves that will take everything and sell it just to get their fix.
I’ve lost just about everything living in this area, I can’t lose my sweet boys. I can’t be homeless again. I can’t handle it, they can’t handle it.
I’m writing this as a last hope kind of thing because something has got to give sometime soon. I’ve been fighting for years to find someone or anyone really that believed in me, that sees the good in me and is willing to help me out of my situation, but lately I just feel like it’s one downfall after another, I can barely get my head above water let alone keep it there.
I’m trying so hard I just need someone to tell me that everything is going to be okay, I need someone to see that I’m trying and believe in me.
I need help.
I need someone somewhere to not turn their back on me in my time of need.