Hello there. :) i cant believe i am on a site like this right now but life happens. i feel like theres so much to say but i dont know where to word it or how to start but here goes nothin
Like most other people, i suffer from some serious mental illness issues. im one of those people who just feels things way too much so when things are going bad they’re going real bad. I was diagnosed with adhd, bi polar, ptsd, panic disorder, fibromyalgia, arthritis ( i was even diagnosed with juvenile arthritis), hypothyroidism, and chronic fatigue. I also have a tumor on my pituitary gland.
All of this has screwed my life up beyond repair and made me unable to work like normal people. I have been working from home which is a huge blessing. I had the same job for almost 5 years and was suddenly let go because the company couldnt afford for me to work for them any longer.
this happened literally the day before i held my grandfather’s hand and watched him leave this world.
not trying to make this a sob story…my real story is this one and it sounds sobby. lol
i will be 37 in 2 weeks and im usually just thankful to be alive but all i can think of is how everything is out of my control because i am flat broke, i keep losing people, and i’m basically a failure.
though my health has made me unable to work regular jobs like outside my home, i want to try my hardest to get a desk job in a business away from here to see if it could help with my quality of life since i’m here all the time and its not doing my mental health any favors.
there are some desk jobs available in my town that i want to start applying for but my car is no longer in working condition and i dont have anyone to borrow a car from nor do i have the money to get an uber.
I need a new transmission and a new radiator and with labor that could go over 5 grand…i dont have the credit to get another car either.
along with that, i am now living alone in my parent’s home because my mother has to live with her mother now that my grandfather passed.
my daddy died 2 years ago and he helped build this house and he left this world while in this house…..and i will never forgive myself if it’s lost because his train wreck child couldn’t get her crap together to have enough money to live in it.
I have applied for food stamps so hopefully that will be something i get and the burden will be lessened. if you are reading this and have the ability to help me, please please consider it. i dont want to lose this house. i dont want to lose myself…
if any of you help me, please know how grateful i am and i can assure you that i will pay it forward asap.