This is hard for me to do but i dont know what else to do. Im loosing everything. I’m scared for what is or could happen. I’m desperate now. I have run put of options. I’ve tried personal loans and help from family and even friends. That’s pushing the friendship believe me.
Centrelink have stopped my DSP and now on Newstart saying im capable of 8-14hrs a week. That dropped my income by almost $350 A fortnight. I have put a lot of pressure on mate dear friend Nicole and its causing so much heartache.
My story starts back in May 2006. Working, for 20years, in a factory as a canvas machinist, and living it may I say, and had a fall. This was the start of nothing being the same again. I had done some serious damage to my back and was seeing a specialist and trying to avoid surgery. Unfortunately nothing was successful and August i went under the knifeand surgery was done. It was a slow and painful recovery. Nearly 4 weeks in hospital. This did not help my depression and anxiety at all. In fact made it worse. With hydrotherapy and walking frame and crutches to help me walk again and get around. And my mental health dropped low. I am so lucky to have my dear friend Nicole by my side and still is, and now my career, who came to hospital every day and cared for me when out of hospital and still to this day.
ThinThings didnt look good but a few years, well 2008-9 I tried to go back to work. Not the same but still a machinist. I went through a disability agency that help me in all ways to make comfortable as possible and had a machinist job. This didnt last long unfortunately because my depression and anxiety started to take me over. I couldn’t get up to get myself to work and end up loosing my job. Being told if they knew i suffered depression, they would never have employed me. The pain in my back and leg got worse. I have suffered depression anxiety for 25 years. Surgery was not a good time for me being stuck in hospital and pain.i got to a point of not being able to leave the house and panic attacks for 7ish years. Worse time let me tell you. I’m getting help and I’m slowly improving.
Nicole is my career and has veen for 6 years. She is an angel. Helps me when my back is so bad i cant get out of bed. Do t know where I’d be if she wasnt around. Probably on the streets.
With loosing my job to extreme anxiety, I was advised to apply for disability.This was a process and a half. Jumping through hops and took us just before court. Finally after 12 months and the support of Nicole, I was granted DSP for my depression/anxiety and spinal damage. Nearly 6 years later they call me in for review, spoke to me me 30 pdd minutes and decided my able to work 8-14hours a week. Just by chatting with me. Strange i cant sit or stand for long period of time without chronic pain. I avoid things that cause me pain daily. Alot of things Nicole has to do. I worked 20years as a canvas machinist and lived it. I know nothing else. Id live to study but cant sit long enough for even that.
Now to bring you up to date, I live with Nicole and her 2 special need children, boys, 8 and13. I have been around since they were born. Im like a second mum to them. Nicole and i have been friends for 20 odd years. We connect. We are now really struggling since been taken off DSP, and still fighting it too. We are sinking in debt, bills and bad luck. My car is out of rego and now a blown head gasket so basicly off the road. Rego $421.45 and repairs $1500-2500 depending on out come. It’s a holden frontera and parts are ridiculous and car is only worth $3700 when in good order. We have had to rely on Nicoles car which is now falling apart. Doirs wont lock and shockies are shot. We cant win grrr. So soon no way to get 13 year old boy to school. 2nd boy is home schooled do to alot of issues we are try to sort. A tutor would be a great help but cant find out how too when cash is low. How much worse can it get.
Well hold on.
We also have bills pilling up badly. Just today Senergy sent us bill for $1003.20 along with a disconnection warning and next bill do. We have a plan in place but the bills keep coming. Shire rates of $898.34 due. Gas, phone and water too. All of which we are loosing the battle to get under control. And then try and put food on the table for kids that are so fussy and only eat certain foods. They are both medicated day and night. They are a handful but i live them ❤.
Nicole hasnt been well for they past 2 months and looking like chrone’s disease. Waiting on diagnosis. And also suffering teeth trouble. Poor bugger cant win. I doung my best to keep house in order while she laid up but with back pain you can only imagine the struggly i have.
Fighting disability is taking its toll on me. Drepession getting me down again. I dont know how to fight them. Its putting a big strain on household and friendship. We need a break. A guardian angel.
We have bothed tried personal loans and the sort and knocked back every turn. Its frustrating. Dont know where to turn. Nothing to sell. I need my own car to get around and improve my confidence and keep getting better. I dont go far from home but my phsyc once a fortnight. I need car with a liitle hight and not to low to ground because of my back. I want my freedom back.
I have now resort to trying to put my story out there and hope someone could help me please. I’ve always stoid on my own two feet but feel i have no other choice and nothing to loose.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I do hope someone could help me/us.