This is where I currently live. My 1999 Honda Accord with 233,000 miles on it. It still runs pretty well, but there are knocks, creaks and groans when I accelerate and turn corners. It gets a little uncomfortable to sleep in too, but I try not to complain. Would you like to know how I ended up living here?
Well… Have you ever made a choice that was such a big mistake that it cost you everything that you loved? I assure you, it’s not fun.
I had a good life. Maybe not the greatest, but I worked hard to land a decent job to provide for my wife and kids. They had it pretty good. My wife stayed at home to raise our two children while I battled depression, and a long daily commute only to come home feeling unloved and unappreciated. Well, about three years ago I started down a path of debauchery and infidelity. I thought it would make me happy. I thought it would easy the ache for companionship that I felt I was lacking.
A year and a half later, i had hit rock bottom and saw myself for the monster i had become. My wants and desires had been replaced with self loathing and hate. I was certain I would never find happiness. I considered divorcing my wife and leaving the family I resented, but I stuck with what I was good at. Being the provider.
Nearly a year later (about 2 months ago), my life was changing. Things were getting better. I wasn’t depressed and I was looking forward to a future as an empty nester with my wife. And then karma kicked me in the nuts a month later. My wife was told about my sexual misbehaviors including activities I didn’t commit that fall on the wrong side of the law.
So here I am. My wife of nearly 25 years has filed for divorce, I’m not allowed in the home that we built together, and I’ve alienated nearly every family member and friend I had. I don’t know if there will be legal action. I don’t know if I will lose my job. I don’t know how much the divorce and/or legal fees might be, but I know we can’t really afford it. So I live in my car because every dollar I would have to spend on a room or apartment is a dollar borrowed from my family’s future and stability.
So, why am I here pleading for your help? To be honest, I’m worried this old car that I’m living in won’t last. I’m hoping to raise a few thousand dollars to buy a used minivan that will last until we can sell our house and I can take what equity I might get to find a new place to try and build a new life.
Thank you for reading my story.