I.have been abandoned by my family. My only friend went into septic shock in May from dialysis. He has still not made it home from the hospital. He was the only support system I ever had.
I have suffered from clinical.major depression my entire life. I believe it is from mental.amd emotional.abuse because my dad played me like a game piece against my mom.telling me she didn’t love me so.i would go with hom.everytime she caught him.cheating on her because he knew I was the way for him to be able to.come back home.
No one would help me. My grandmother was brutally stabbed to death when.i was 17. It didn’t hit me until.i was 19. So in 1994 I tried my best to die. I didn’t know what was wrong and the pain was so great I knew to die was the only way take it stop. I shouldn’t be alive
I’m 48 years old now and that same battle had come back. I was put on disability at the age of 30. I never applied for it. My Dr’s told me they did because I would never be able to hold down a job.
My dad us a successful business man. My sister is the chief assistant district attorney of a county in my state, her husband is a sheriff. They won’t help me and it doesn’t make sense. My own child, the person GOD GAVE ME TO SAVE MY LIFE, won’t speak to me. I have never been given the 1st reason why. I have 2 grandchildren that I don’t know. They all get together on holidays and leave me at home alone starving while they are celebrating Christmas together. They can’t even see how this is being disobedient to GOD. None of this makes sense. No one will give me a reason so I can’t even try to make things better. But I have not done anything to them.
I decided to go through ect treatments in 2021 to try to get well. My car was stolen and I found out who did it. If the piece would have done their job I would have gotten back but people don’t take me seriously because I am emotionally unstable. I’m not dumb. I know have gifts from GOD and I am a very sensituve and empathetic person. I love. I’m so close to GOD now.
I have been traumatized and my Dr can back my story up as well as the people in the community that I have begged to help me get my son back. I honestly can’t understand anything about this. I have sent them.letters begging them to just tell me how to live? I am losing this battle fast..I am on a very low fixed income. I have been stranded and abandoned and I feel great fear. GOD equipped me with a family to get through this battle but they turned on me 4 years ago. I don’t have enough m8ney to survive. I have every benefit I can think of.
I had to go off all my medicine to try to please my dad. I’m crying so hard right now I can’t even read this. I have reached out in every way I can for help. I was talking to always reach out for help before you thought of anything else. I can’t think of anything else. I have made myself feel like a loser a pathetic person for having to beg for money. I can’t get to my doctor. My doctor is an hour away I can’t find anyone to take me I’m tired of trying to beg people and I’m tired of feeling like I’m a bothering a burden. I can’t believe my family is done this to me knowing how sick I am and how I have been so sick all of my life. But they have me blocked they won’t reply to me I think they’re embarrassed of me I think they’re embarrassed of the things that I remember from when I was young I think they’re embarrassed that people will find out how they’ve treated me so it’s easier for them to just forget about me. I’m going to die I know I’m going to die and I don’t want to die I love my son so much I never want him to question why I didn’t love him enough to stay here and that is not even the case my son has abandoned me and he saved my life. I am in so much pain and I’m so desperate and I’m so afraid I have never been so terrified in my entire life. I’m months behind on my rent. I have temporary help with my utilities right now. I know that I could consolidate my finances somehow and have easier payments but I don’t know how to do that. I don’t even know how to make it through the day. I wake up in tears everyday and I’m telling the truth I say this before God and God is the only thing that I have is the only thing that has not left me he has been beside me and he’s the reason I’m alive. I got an emotional support dog in March I didn’t know he was going to be an 80 lb lab but he has saved my life and he has skin allergies and food allergies and I can’t even afford to feed him anymore so I use my food stamps to feed him because he’s my responsibility. There’s nothing that I’m lying about and I would not try to take advantage of anybody I would not even do this if I were not absolutely completely desperate and I don’t know how I’m going to survive. The depression in the anxiety are the worst they are so cruel I wouldn’t wish it on satan. The pain that I feel is real it’s worse than torture in the third world country is what it feels like but nobody can see it therefore nobody can treat it therefore there’s no way to get rid of it and to remain alive without my family without a support system. If anyone can help me it would mean more to me than anything in this world I want to see my grandchildren I’m wanting to know my grandchildren I know they need me God would not have given them to me if he didn’t want me to have them and I know they need me. I am going through the Battle of my life and I have humbled myself and realized that everyone needs help sometimes and there’s no way I can get by without help. I’m willing to do anything I have to do to back up my truth. I am a good person and I have such a great empathy I feel like I have the gift of discernment I don’t know but I’m not crazy but I made you feel like I don’t matter that I don’t have a purpose that I’m just a burden. I don’t have a friend I don’t have anybody but my dog. If anyone can help me God bless you so much I don’t know how I would ever repay you but I will spend my life trying. Thank you so much.
The screen shot is of one of the emails I sent my family months ago. I have never gotten a reply or heard a word from them. I don’t have a mother anymore. I am not a bad person. I have really nit done anything wrong no one understands me.
When my iwn family wont even acknowledge me, i dont know what else to do to seek help. Please pray for me.
Thank you again.