I don’t know how much longer I can keep pretending I’m okay.
I work outside doing landscaping and hardscape. It’s hard, physical work, but I love it. I built a small business with a friend I’ve known for twenty years. I’ve always believed that if I kept showing up and working hard, I could take care of my son and keep a roof over our heads.
But lately, it feels like every time I get back on my feet, something knocks me down again.
The woman I was with for seven years cheated on me and took the money I had saved. I lost my nest egg, but I also lost the person I thought I could trust. I’m still trying to understand how someone I loved for so long could leave me with so little.
Work has been slow. Winter is coming, and I know there will be even fewer jobs. The bills keep piling up, and I’m scared I’m going to lose my house.
My truck has bad diesel injectors. It’s costing me a fortune in fuel, and fixing it will be around $6,500. I need that truck to work. I need work to make money. But I can’t save enough to fix it. It feels like I’m trapped in a circle I can’t get out of.
The person I’m fighting for is my six-year-old son, Brayden. His mother isn’t here. I don’t know where she is, and I hope she’s getting help for her drinking and drug problems. But I can’t make her come back, and I can’t make life easier for Brayden by wishing things were different.
I’m trying to be everything he needs. I’m trying to keep working, keep paying what I can, and act like I’m not scared. But I am scared. I’m scared when I look at the bills. I’m scared when I think about winter. I’m scared that the truck will fail before I can fix it, and I’m scared that Brayden and I could lose our home.
I haven’t given up on my son, or on the business, or on the chance that things could get better. But I’m tired, and I can’t carry all of this by myself anymore. If anyone can help me find a way through this, please reach out. I’m trying as hard as I can. I just need a hand before everything falls apart.I believe there are good people out there that are willing to help me get back on my feet.
My venmo is venmo.com/Dominick636 My paypal https://www.paypal.com/myaccount/profile/paypal.me/DominickBoyle671